Before I begin this speech, I have to tell you something, Ash. Craig and I were married, as children, and the marriage was never annulled. I know it’s weird, but I’ll let you take it up with Brian. He was our minister. Then again, our Mom was the one who set it all up, so maybe you should talk to her too. Not so cute now, eh Mom?
Well, well, well, here we are! The big day has finally arrived. Christmas 2009 seems like ages ago now. It’s hard to believe that my brother, my bowla, my plop homie, my dude, is finally hitched and to such a gorgeous, kind, and intelligent lady. You’re a lucky man, bro.
Growing up with Craig as my brother was always an adventure. For those of you who have been there since the beginning, you’ll remember quotes like “Dude-Ette, Forever Buddies…and Jessie too,” and “What’s up, my plop homie?” Whether we were running home from the bus stop to watch Saved By The Bell, Family Matters, and Fresh Prince or driving our 5.5 horsepower boat over a rock, Craig and I were always getting into trouble and having a blast while doing it.
Believe it or not, I have always looked up to my big bro and, in many ways, have emulated his actions and choices in my own life. I have always trusted his judgment and always will. After all, he hand-picked my favourite baseball and hockey stars when we were kids and he did such a good job: John Olerud and Dougie Gilmour! Still love Dougie G!
Before I headed off to Western, Craig and I got our first and matching tattoos, much to our mother’s dismay. But hey Mom, how can you complain with a tattoo that means “eternal kinship”? We’re JUST that devoted to each other. Several years later, I would get a scar, on my chin, just like his from essentially the same circumstances and he would say “I know you love me, Jill, but did you have to go this far to follow in my footsteps?” Just goes to show how much I really DO love you, Craig. Although, I think the one who really suffered that night in the hospital was Mom. Sorry!
Well, enough about us! How about the lovely lady in white! Ash, I couldn’t be happier to call you my sister-in-law. Since you and Craig began dating, we have had some great times together. You have always listened to me when I needed a friend, and Lord knows I’ve needed friends often, especially in the last year. I often catch myself forgetting that you’re less than a year older than me because I’m such a goof and you seem so put together! I can learn a lot from you (Craig can too). I hope you know how excited we are to have you be a part of our family. So to you, I say, “sisters by chance, friends by choice.”
So, let’s raise our glasses and toast to new beginnings, endless possibilities, and the most beautiful bride and groom this wedding hall has ever seen. I love you both. Congratulations.