Quarter Life Crisis

It is often said that when one door closes, another door opens. Oh, and patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. All that mumbo jumbo. Here I sit, doing what I know how to do: write. Where is it getting me? Somewhere, I hope, but who really knows? Perhaps it is as productive as twiddling my thumbs.

It is safe to say that this past year has been a rollercoaster ride. Not only am I crossing the threshold of adulthood into the “real world,” but I am learning some very difficult (and often valuable) lessons in the process. First off, the people who I thought would never let me down did. In my darkest hours, the ones who I thought would always be there simply weren’t. On the other hand, I learned who was really meant to be in my life and realized that people will come and go and it’s easier to accept it than to fight it.

During these moments of anxiety and insecurity, I felt alone (and still, however foolishly, sometimes do). Everything is subjective, right? I found myself wondering what all the 20 somethings who are “overqualified, but under-experienced” do and how they decide what they want. Sure, unpaid internships are always an option, but that only adds 0’s to one’s ever-expanding student debt. We can blame the recession all we want, but that won’t solve our problems.

So, I’m almost 25. I’m supposed to have figured it all out by now and I’m competing with thousands of other post-graduates with the exact same credentials for positions that require “2-5 years of experience in a similar field.” Okay. So, I spent 4 years and countless dollars doing an Honours degree in English, before heading back to school (again) to do a post-graduate certificate because I figured my focus wasn’t narrow enough. Then, I did an unpaid internship to gain experience. Sound familiar? We’re all doing the same things and are all equally qualified. What is going to set us apart? 

I’m hoping that someone will see my potential and, maybe, through my contributions to this portfolio, they will. In reality, all I can do is practice what I love, remain passionate about it, stay motivated, and hope for the best. Hard work does pay off, but at what price? My parents always tell me how things were easier when they were my age, in terms of getting employment. They also reassure me that if I continue to try, something will come. While I’m sure something will come with my unrelenting efforts, I have become slightly wary of the corporate world. Will I become a replaceable number?

People say it all the time, but I really want to do something that I love. I’m doing that right now. Getting paid for it would just be a bonus. So, yes, this online portfolio was produced as a tool or aid to help me further my career. However, the more I write these entries, the more I realize that the entries won’t stop once I get where I want. Maybe it’s not as big a crisis as I thought. At least I AM doing something that feels right, penniless or not.

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